I miss my Nana.

My Nana died yesterday.

She is my mom's mom. Tuesday she was admitted to hospital with pnemonia. My uncle called my cousin in Maryland who works nights to let him know. My cousin waited until the morning to call his parents. My aunt then waited to call her sister in Oklahoma until it was 7am there. That aunt waited till 7:30am PST to call my mom. My mom called me during her class's recess time because she wanted me to get my kids off to school on a happy note. I heard my aunts and uncles did the same with their kids. Everyone was waiting to call people because they didn't want to either ruin the start of the day for the great-grandkids or wake up a sister or brother to tell them how sick Nana was. With her so far away in England there was nothing for us to do but wait for the update calls.

My mom got the call at 6pm that she had passed away. Before she passed away I was trying to convince my mom to have my dad walk her passport renewal paperwork through but she didn't want to do that. She kept saying that Nana had said not to come back for a funeral. I don't want her to regret not going. I called back one last time this evening to tell her that James was right my passport was still current and if she wanted to go, she didn't have to go alone, I'd go. If he had been wrong I was going to head to SF to walk my paperwork through if our local office couldn't put a rush on it.

I keep telling myself that Nana's at peace. She isn't sick. She's with Popa now. She was unhappy these past few months because she couldn't keep up with the housework and she hated that my aunts and cousins were coming in do it for her. She was like that. She felt you weren't any use if you couldn't look after yourself. Popa would have hired a maid to help out but she wouldn't hear of it. Even with 11 kids she did it all. You only were ever allowed to help with the Sunday dinner dishes and you could iron a shirt if you needed it right away otherwise she did it all. She'd shoo you out of the kitchen if you tried to make yourself a cup of tea or toast some bread in the morning. When she was in her early 70's her youngest daughter and I tried to convince her to let the family hire a maid so she could take it easy and do the things she truly enjoyed and she told us keeping a clean house made her feel good. Nana was house proud.

I did it!

I am happily celebrating reaching my first weight loss goal of the year. I decided back in mid-January that I wanted to lose 10 pounds by Lindsay's birthday. That gave me 5 weeks to do it in. Well I did it in 4! I got on the scale this morning and I was so exicited to see that number on the scale.

It made it so easy to put on my exercise clothes and tennis shoes this morning. It made it so easy to pick up the ipod as I was heading out the door to walk the kids to school so I could walk 30 minutes after dropping them off. I ended up walking with my co-team manager for 20 minutes and finished the last 10 minutes after she headed into her house. I think any other day I would have left her at the corner and headed to my house while she went to hers.

I'm going to have to figure out what my goal will be for next month. These short term goals I think are easier to keep. I also have to figure out a reward to give my self after I lost the next 10 pounds. Getting new clothes is a given as I'll be down another pant size and the pants will be falling off me by that time.

Birthday plans.......

Birthday plans are in full swing. Got the invitations out and have started to recieve rsvp's back. Lindsay is excited about it and has started counting down the days.

I am glad I don't have to worry about the paper products for the party, though I will get some because we will be having food and I think we will need more than what they supply. Lindsay and I are going to head over and pick out the stuff from the party store and get the party loot. I think I want that stuff bought before next week so that I can spend the time getting the stuff organized and ready to go. The kids are off and it might be too hard to get us to the store. Philip's DI team is going to be meeting a few times that week.

Procstination.....

how sadly I know your name all so well.

Right now I should be putting in a load of laundry or running the vacuum cleaner. Yet I do neither. Instead I am sitting here updating my blog and drinking a cup of coffee.

I feel like a little kid stomping her feet saying "But I don't want to clean!"

Every feel like that?

A sad couple of days but rays of sunshine and hope

An online friend lost her daughter this weekend. It was unexpected but do you ever expect your child to out live you? They thought the little girl had the flu and when it seemed she was just getting worse and worse they took her to the ER. It was there they found out she was diabetic. They had no reason to suspect as they have no family history of it. She was so bad off and very dehydrated that the doctors couldn't stablizer her. A sweet little girl is gone. Her mother and father did a wonderful thing in their grief, they signed the donation papers so her organs could help others.

Another friend on line said that she never imagined that when she first got on the internet many years ago that she would be so effected by the joys and tears of people she has never met in person, people who have become her friends after years of posting with them. She's right. I too never imagined that I would have friends across the world that I would never have met except for the internet. I've met a few but for the most part they are words on a screen with the occasional pictures. But you know those words have made me laugh, made me cry tears of sadness and tears of laughter, they've made me think, I've found out things I never knew before. We've shared memories of childhood, school, being pregnant, about our crazy co-workers and the relatives we love yet will never understand why they are the way they are while knowing they probably feel the same way about us. They are people I can complain to about the fact that dh didn't take out the garbage one day and the next tell them how much I really love him and they get it. They offer advice when I need it and just "listen" when I need a shoulder to lean on. They share my heartache and can even get more excited then I do about the good stuff.

I would have told someone they were crazy if they would have told that would happen when I first signed on and started exploring the internet. It is such a different world today than it was just a short decade ago. The friends I have met make it a better place than what it was before despite the scary things we read about in the news. And for that I am glad. Friends make the bad times bearable so thank you my friends. Where ever you are remember you have friends out here in cyberspace and I do too.

Planning a 6th Birthday Party

Lindsay's birthday is in two weeks her party is the following Saturday. We are having it at the place she takes gymnastics at. I am trying to convince her to par down her list of people she wants to invite. She seems to be taking after her brother and wants to invite everyone she knows. We are inviting the whole class so that is 20. She has a couple of friends in other classes that she wants to invite and I'm inclined to let her because she plays with them outside of school as well as at recess. Add to that her two cousins , she would be upset if they didn't come. So we are looking at 25 kids easy if everyone comes.

We ordered the invitations today. We got them at Hallmark and they will do the printing for us. It is $5/box but so worth not having to fight with the printer or the templet. They will be ready tonight after 8pm so I will be picking them up tomorrow morning. I want to send them out on Wednesday and that will give me plenty of time to get them addressed and stamped.

Now we have to decide on the goody bags. I think we will give the girls something from The Littlest PetShop and the boys some Legos. I can get stuff for under $5 and it will be a real gift rather than candy and dollar store toys. I feel better spending the money for the goody bag stuff if the kids get something that won't get tossed in a drawer when they get home. The weekend I'll take her to Party City and will pick out small gift bags for the goodies. And I'll start the templet for the labels for the bags.

I just want to say here that I like that we are having it at a place rather than at home. There is no pressure to have a pinata this way. Someone always gets hurt or scared so I'd rather not do it. Add to that the fact that I don't have to plan the party games or clean up after it! Its a win for me, lol!



This leaves the cake to be ordered